Worrying: Why do people worry?

The biggest killer of human happiness.

Lars Nissen Pixabay

Worrying is the most common feeling we all carry with us all the time. The size of the worry varies from person to person depending on the individual’s belief system. But it is the most fruitless and meaningless activity we indulge ourselves in. We believe that when we worry, we are being productive, but in reality, we are creating some more distress for ourselves. Worry is beneficial (as some say) when it could be used to find solutions and prevent the unfavourable outcome.

As the majority of my clients are from the corporate world, nearly all the time we end up having discussion about worry (of deadline, holidays, staff, performance, the list is never ending). They share with me things such as, “I can’t stop worrying,” “I worry about stuff that I know will not happen,” and “I have hard time getting some ideas out of my mind.”

And this is precisely what worry is (thinking about the future and things that we know have the minimum chance of happening). The very first step in reducing the volume of worry in our life is acknowledging that “WORRY” is illogical and powerless. Again, unless our worrying is going to lead us to identify a great solution (or just a tangible solution) that we could implement in order to prevent something from happening.

The majority of the time worry is:

1. Thinking about things that don’t exist in reality at the present moment.

2. Apprehension about things that do exist but are entirely out of our control.

3. Not anything more than an “action” that we humans engage in, to feel as though we are being productive.

4. Imaginary thing that gets in our way of actually living our lives happily.

In regard to number 3, most times we actively worry because we believe they are actually doing something by giving our attention to a perceived or real situation. But again, unless we can do something that would have an influence on the outcome, what is the real purpose of worrying?

“In actuality lest we can do something the situation, our worry is going to get us to the point where we identify that something is wrong. Worrying basically leads us to feel stressed, anxious, discomfort, and discontented.”

When people share with me that they find it hard to get their worries out of their mind, I totally understand what they are feeling, because I have been there at some point in my life.

There are several strategies we can implement to help us curb the worry that we experience. Rather than allowing our worrisome thoughts to spiral out of control, these techniques help us to reel in our thinking and recognise when our thoughts are not rational or helpful. This, in turn, leads to our understanding that we do not need to focus on these thoughts or allow them to continue to plague our mind.

Like every other walk of life, this transnational change could not take place without our full commitment. This requires discipline and full engagement in the process, once you have started the process of change, you will realise that this was the most beneficial work you could do improve the quality of your life.

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.

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